Today is the day

HOLA! Hello! Gudenhaug! Dasvedanya!

Today is the day that could make, or break me... as a sane individual.
But before i get into that:
in honor of it being the SEVENTH day of the SEVENTH month, it only seems fitting to put up tributes to my favorite 'Number SEVENs'
THE CLASSIC: David Beckham





Where does one even being with David Beckham? His ever-changing blonde locks? His beautifully sculpted/tattooed body? Maybe that scowl that is just attractive enough to not be frightening; the very scowl that has haunted my dreams (and my bedroom walls) for many a year, and surely many more to come?
No matter what comes to mind when you think of David Beckham, you can't ignore the fact that he is a FAN-freakin-TASTIC footballer. They can't really make a movie called 'Bend it Like Beckham,' if he CAN'T really bend it! And he does. Oh so well. Childs nowadays might look at DB and think 'Oh! that's the guy who walks around with his kids and does whatever his wife says!' But i will always remember you as the star of the England squad (nevermind that whole getting-kicked-off-the-squad-and-denounced-by-Sir-Alex thing)
Manchester United, the EPL, and England in general will never be the same.


THE SPAINARD: David Villa





With a name like that, you has to be good! You have scored your way through those Hondurians, Chileans, Portugese..s, and Paraguains to become the top goal scorer in the Cup THUS far. Your awkward run-ups on goal have left me dazed, and slightly turned on. I'm willing to forgive your soul-patch because it seems to be doing something good for you, like a good luck charm. No? Oh....anyways....
Barcelona, Here you come!!!!! Hopefully you can keep scoring like this when you start there.
If not... at least you went out with a bang!


THE JUST-PLAIN-'OL-SEXAY: Cristiano Ronaldo>




Well, Ronnie... we've had our downs, and we've hard our ups. One major down was in 2006, when you got Rooney red-carded. My arms still itch a little bit from that. But thankfully we've had many, MANY more ups! Like the fact that you get my loins churning by simply existing! Another is your divine skill on the pitch and your abs that are so numerous, i have to take my shoes off just to count them all.
News of your new baby son, left me a little conflicted. One the one side, you're slightly damaged goods. A KID? You've been tainted! BUT, on the other side, you have now been upgraded to a DILF, rather than a man i would like to get busy with.
So, despite your sometimes unsportsmanlike behavior, your man bags, and your mullets, i am still in love with you. And always will be.
But don't get any ideas, little Crissy Jr. will not be calling me mom!


(I had to write all of this in order to keep my mind of the MONUMENTALLY important game that is happening in ....t-minus.... 8 minutes)


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Everytime i get excited about Spain winning, i feel really sad about Germany losing.
ONLY, because of you!
I feel like Germany did amazing in this tournament.
I'm not gonna say anything too Buck-Up Little Camper-y, because it pisses me off.
But i love you and i'm celebrating a bittersweet win.